Archive for September, 2007
I recently heard a woman say that she allows her daughter to explore the not-so-nice aspects of her personality. With wisdom the mother said it is important to have that stronger side of us – as well as the nice, well-mannered side – since the world can be cruel at times.
Although I never thought to teach my girls this lesson in an overt manner, I could not agree with this lady more. There are times in life when we need to have a thicker skin and be a little stronger, because if we were anything less life would chew us up and spit us out.
As women, we have been told our entire lives that we are made of “sugar and spice and everything nice.” So we try to live up to that notion and in the process we can get walked all over. Some women even submit to abusive relationships because they have never been taught to stand up for themselves…
For me, last Thursday was one of those days when a woman wants to look her best. Therefore, I went out and bought a new outfit last Monday and made sure to get some sexy, strappy three-inch-heels to go with that outfit.
I promptly went home and put on the whole ensemble to see how it looked in the mirror, but I was completely disappointed. It was not the sexy shoes that I found disappointing or the clothes either really; although the outfit did not create the statement I wanted to make for my special day.
What I found disappointing was myself. All women have bad hair days or that outfit that we thought was so cute only to realize much too late that it was a huge mistake to wear it out of the house. However, my disappointment was deeper than this. I just did not feel beautiful at all.
Most guys who are still reading this column will no doubt shrug their shoulders and excuse my insecurity as nothing, but for any woman, it is vitally important that she feels beautiful – especially on special days…
The Internet is such a great concept. It allows us to stay in contact with friends and family who may be scattered all over the world. I do not understand how it works, I just know that if I type a note to a friend from my email account and click “Send,” my friend will get that note almost instantaneously.
I get all types of emails. The worst ones are spam or ads. I set these to go to the junk file and somehow my email knows how to sort the good mail from the bad mail. The best emails are from friends. I have friends who are always sending me the latest jokes or an encouraging poem.
This is how I came across an email from a friend who is in her late 60s and lost her husband to a prolonged sickness last year. She is one spunky lady and I have always admired her tenacity for life, even if she is a political conservative…
I have always thought it is a funny thing to watch an older man ogle a young girl who could easily be his daughter – and sometimes even his granddaughter. It is not like that grandpa has a chance in hell with that young beauty, but that does not stop him from falling all over himself to stop and watch her for as long as possible.
Why do we find such a sight funny? Well, basically because we expect an older gentleman to have learned how to display a bit more restraint in areas such as these. What is even worse is when these men make such a display of themselves right in front of their wives.
I simply love to point out the irony of the double standards of obvious socially acceptable behavior that exists between the two genders. For example, how many times have you ever seen a woman walking with her guy and nearly fall over a complete stranger while trying to catch a look at another man?…
I have always been intrigued at the socialization process that expects women to defer to men. Then the other day I was in a conversation with a man who challenged something I said and I responded with a news piece to prove my position. The man dogmatically stood his ground and I decided it was not worth the fight – over dinner no less.
In retrospect, I know I should have continued the dispute, but I did not want to bruise this man’s ego. In other words, I had acted just as I had been socialized to act. I might as well have said, “Of course, you must be right, after all you are a man and I am just a woman.”
It occurred to me that when a woman is trained to defer to a man, she is actually being trained to protect his ego. I have a difficult time believing men have such fragile egos. Moreover, one cannot help but wonder why very few have ever given so much as passing thought to the female ego…