Archive for June, 2007
However, I come from a very traditional background and I know this thinking does still exist within pockets of our culture. Allow me to make it clear that I do not desire to invoke some sort of battle of the sexes. It is not my goal to separate the two genders, but to bring them together in a spirit of better understanding and equality.
I do not wish to replace the current patriarchal system (a form of social organization in which the male is the family head and title is traced through the male line) with the former matriarchal system (A society or political/social system in which women hold the power) that existed for thousands of years during much of the Neolithic and pre-historic times…
I wish to speak to this notion of obedience of women required by certain men because it is not until women realize that they are no longer required to obey a man with whom they are in a relationship that they will respect themselves enough to leave an abusive man long before he inflicts his will on her to the degree that it requires her life.
I do not wish to change these types of men because they are of little consequence in the long run. Once women have opened their eyes to the fact that abusive men have absolutely no right to beat women – not even for the ridiculous notion of forcing a woman to submit to his will – that is when those men become insignificant.
Moreover, as the judicial system finally gets its act together and puts these abusive men and murderers away for good, the more these men will realize that it is not worth the time in jail to force a woman into “obedience.”
I ran across the recent issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine the other day and was insulted by the captions on the front page. “The Girlfriend Habit That He’ll Love You More For.” “Secrets of Male Arousal.” “What Even Experienced Chicks Forget to Do in Bed.”
Who are they calling a chick?
I did not waste my time by opening this magazine. I am more of a newspaper type of girl. However, I have lived long enough to know that particular Cosmo (like all the rest) would have been chocked full of makeup tips, fashion advice and tons of advertisements. I was offended that Cosmo thought I cared about this shallowness at all.
I understand that I am probably not the target audience for this magazine, but I have daughters who are and it is just as offensive that Cosmo thinks they are so shallow. Is that all they think women care about in life – sex and fashion?
Allow me to correct myself; it was not sex being promoted on the front page of that Cosmo. It was all about how to please the man. There was nothing at all about how to have a mutually satisfying sexual experience. And here I thought this was the 21st century…
Popular recording artist Ciara released a song a few weeks back that touches on a subject women have found intriguing for centuries. The name of the song is, “Like a boy,” and the premise is that women should turn the table on men by treating the guys the way some of them treat the ladies.
I saw this happen just yesterday when someone I know turned the table on her guy regarding a situation in which he had forced her to live non-stop for quite some time, but when the table was turned he could not handle the situation for even an hour.
Even though I have used this tactic to make a point before too, I have to admit that such behavior seems childish. Women are far better than to resort to the irresponsible and insensitive behavior exhibited by certain types of men.
Here is a verse from Ciara’s song: …
I have not always been so strongly affirming of women’s rights. In fact, I grew up in a very conservative home where, even though my mother was a single parent, the expectation to conform to the ideals of the church was very evident on a daily basis. I did rebel, though not in the way most would think. I didn’t go out to drink and party. I rebelled by my rejection of 1) the ideals and notions of the church concerning women (and many other points as well), and 2) the notion that everything the church had to say was truth. In fact, if I didn’t reject the infallibility of the church I would have never been able to reject its dogma.
So from a young age I rejected the social values set for me concerning traditional feminine roles. I wouldn’t accept that I was any less intelligent or capable than the males around me. It just simply was not part of my make up. I didn’t even entertain those ideas long enough to let them flourish. Instead, I would get upset each time an outward manifestation of these expectations was displayed. It would infuriate me when I was put down so that a male could be honored – simply because he was a male and I was not…